Monday, January 11, 2010

Preview of 2010 in Cinema

Okay, since I have yet to visit the Cinema this year, I thought it would be a good time to Preview 2010 in Film.
My mind is fresh, my opinions unfounded – here’s what I think the next 253 Days are going to be like on the Big Screen;

Daybreakers – I can’t imagine this film is going to be any sort of a Classic, but it might just have enough style to make it’s way onto my burgeoning Blu-ray collection.

The Road – I’d hate to meet Viggo Mortensen in real life, but I do love to watch him act!

The Book of Eli – While I am not a huge Denzel fan, I do love the Post-apocalypse. Shaft meets Mad Max with Gary “The Greatest Living Actor” Oldman as the villain – can’t miss it.

Legion – I don’t doubt I’ll see it, but I know it’s going to annoy me. If you’re God, why send an army of CGI to kill the Human Race. Just “Will” it! It doesn’t make for a very good film, I’ll admit, but it saves me a Logic Headache.

Edge of Darkness – I’ll probably wait for this one of DVD, but still – Mel Gibson is a great movie star.

Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief – I won’t see this film, though I fear many of my pupils will. Suffice to say, Chris Columbus has not made a decent film since Home Alone.

The Wolfman – Should be the Mummy for the Teens (and hopefully, not the Mummy Returns for the teens)

Shutter Island – I like Leo more the older he gets. The trailers for this look really intriguing, and Martin Scorsese makes okay films, doesn’t he?

Cop Out – Title changed from a Couple of Dicks by a Couple of Dicks. I love Kevin Smith, but his films are... changeable. Haven’t seen Zack and Miri, but I adored Clerks II with a religious fervour, so I’m staying hopeful for this one.

Alice in Wonderland – OI! BURTON! STOP CASTING YOUR WIFE AND YOUR MATE!!!

Green Zone – Can’t miss the next film from the guys who brought us the best sequels in Action Movie history.

Hot Tub Time Machine – Need I say more?

Season of the Witch – Because I find Nicolas Cage’s performances like the shapes in a Lava Lamp. I can’t quite make out what they’re meant to be, but I know they mean something.

Clash of the Titans – I love the original, despite its flaws, so can’t not see this. Script sounds bobbins, but the effects look good.

How to Train Your Dragon – Before the trailer, I couldn’t have cared less about this. After the trailer, it’s one of my must see Animated films of the year.

Kick-Ass – I can’t write long paragraphs, but I can kick your ass!

Machete – The Trailer was better than some films, so this film should be good. Plus, Danny Trejo is one of the only movie stars I believe could actually kill a guy without breaking a sweat.

Iron Man 2 – Who won’t see this next year?

Robin Hood – I love Ridley Scott in all his forms, and while I can’t see this becoming the Generation Defining Robin Hood film (that still belongs to the Two Kevs), I’m sure it will be much more than just “Gladiator II”. Plus, Robin Hood with an authentic Nottingham accent? That’s got to be a first!

Shrek Forever After – I didn’t hate Shrek The Third. The least I can do is watch this one.

The A-Team – I pity the fool who doesn’t want to watch this film. It’s gonna be shit, but it’s gonna be so much fun!

The Karate Kid – another film that seemed like a terrible idea, but the trailer implants a glimmer of hope into me. Will Smith’s kid could kick my ass!

Toy Story 3 – Will it be a Return of the King, or a Godfather Part 3? Only time will tell.

Inception – Because I’d watch Chris Nolan sit on the loo and take a shit for two hours if they released it. The man hasn’t made a bad film yet.

The Expendables – I don’t want to see this, but my Testicles insist.

Let Me In – Shouldn’t have been renamed, but might just be worth seeing.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – I don’t agree with splitting the damned thing in two, but this is kind of a watered down Revenge of the Sith (not in terms of Quality ,but certainly in terms of build-up)

Burlesque – Christina Aguilera as a Burlesque dancer. I’m sure the mise-en-scene will be excellent.

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader – My favourite Narnia book, without Disney but with Michael Apted (y’know, a proper Director) the rest of the series stands or falls based on this Film.

Tron Legacy – Because I liked Tron and I like new things.

Conan – Should be made by the entire team behind The Expendables.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World – I loved the Comics, and Edgar Wright knows both funny, and good film making.


Just to be clear, I do watch low key films too, and I love them, I just don't like spending twenty quid (when you take petrol and snacks into account) to see them. I prefer to wait for DVD or Telly.

The Adventures of Findo Gask II - Trailer