Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Muhammed hates fundamentalists too...


Some points to accompany this cartoon;
1) Nowhere in the Qu'ran does it state you can't show a picture of Muhammed.
2) South Park wasn't insulting Muhammed, it was insulting - if anyone - itself (or maybe modern celebrity culture).
3) I don't care what people fucking say, religion is not an excuse to do shit. It's important to you, it ain't important to me!!!
4) There is never an excuse to kill someone - jihad is a made up concept.
5) If a system of belief expressly prohibits questioning of that belief, then it's senseless brainwashing shit. I don't believe this of Islam, but neither do I believe this of Christianity, and look at the Pope!!
6) I don't understand politics, and I'm not really very good at satire, but I do believe in freedom of speech and the right to express myself.
7) If you don't like it, don't fucking watch/read it!
8) Yes, I'm aware I misspelt "fundamentalists" - I'm dyslexfjnfwoejnf.

Lossie Days 6

The Story so far...

Here we have the Lossie Days archive, originally hosted on http://www.tuxedojane.com
It's been a while... the comic is a sequel to a comic I did called Hopeman Days.
Both are attempts to express myself "artistically" and therefore not take a shotgun and blow myself away.








Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The Adventures of Findo Gask - Part II

At long last, the wait is over. The Second Chapter in The Adventures of Findo Gask is finally here...

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Oscar Predictions 2010

Here are my Oscar predictions for this year; some are what I think and some are what I want. Take these to the bookies, and if you win I'll split the proceeds.

BEST PICTURE
AVATAR
THE HURT LOCKER
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS
PRECIOUS - I think Precious is going to win - let's face it; Based on a book, depressing subject matter, Mariah Carey looking "dowdy" - all it needs in an AIDS inflicted Retard and the bookies wouldn't even be taking bets.
UP IN THE AIR
UP
AN EDUCATION
A SERIOUS MAN
DISTRICT 9
THE BLIND SIDE

BEST ACTOR
Jeff Bridges - CRAZY HEART - He's a Dark Horse, but he's been passed over before and didn't win, and this is a Music Biopic. It's gotta be The Dude.
George Clooney - UP IN THE AIR
Colin Firth - A SINGLE MAN
Morgan Freeman - INVICTUS
Jeremy Renner - THE HURT LOCKER

BEST ACTRESS
Meryl Streep - JULIE & JULIA
Carey Mulligan - AN EDUCATION
Gabourey Sidibe - PRECIOUS
Sandra Bullock - THE BLIND SIDE - Could this be Sandra's year? I've got a gut feeling it could be...
Helen Mirren - THE LAST STATION

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Christoph Waltz - INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS - Who turned in a more complex and varied performance? This guy has Bond Villain written all over him. Besides, Woody Harrelson should have been nominated for Zombieland.
Woody Harrelson - THE MESSENGER
Christopher Plummer - THE LAST STATION
Stanley Tucci - THE LOVELY BONES
Matt Damon - INVICTUS

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Vera Farmiga - UP IN THE AIR - Too close to call, I'm gonna say Vera Farmiga because I like her surname. It's a bit like Farmer, and a little bit like Vagina.
Anna Kendrick - UP IN THE AIR
Mo'nique - PRECIOUS
Penelope Cruz - NINE
Maggie Gyllenhaal - CRAZY HEART

BEST ANIMATED FILM
UP - I think Up will win, though I would like Fantastic Mr. Fox to win. To be honest, allof the films nominated deserve something.
CORALINE
THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG
THE SECRET OF KELLS
THE FANTASTIC MR. FOX

BEST DIRECTOR
Kathryn Bigelow - THE HURT LOCKER - War, no revisionism, no aliens. Sure thing. It should be QT though.
James Cameron - AVATAR
Quentin Tarantino - INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS
Jason Reitman - UP IN THE AIR
Lee Daniels - PRECIOUS

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Nick Hornby - AN EDUCATION
Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell - DISTRICT 9
Jesse Armstrong and Armando Iannucci - IN THE LOOP Geoffrey Fletcher - PRECIOUS
Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner - UP IN THE AIR

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Quentin Tarantino - INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS - If there's any justice in the world...
Mark Boal - THE HURT LOCKER
Pete Docter and Bob Peterson - UP
Oren Moverman and Alessandro Camon - THE MESSENGER
Joel and Ethan Coen - A SERIOUS MAN

BEST ART DIRECTION
AVATAR
THE IMAGINARIUM OF DR. PARNASSUS - Dr. Parnassus, while flawed and Gilliamesque, looked amazing.
SHERLOCK HOLMES
THE YOUNG VICTORIA
NINE

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
THE HURT LOCKER
HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE
THE WHITE RIBBON
AVATAR - He invented a new kind of Camera, for gods sake!
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS

BEST COSTUME DESIGN
THE YOUNG VICTORIA
THE IMAGINARIUM OF DR. PARNASSSUS
BRIGHT STAR
NINE
COCO BEFORE CHANEL - Hmmm... a film about a clothes maker... possibly...

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
FOOD, INC.
THE COVE - Haven't heard much about any of the others, but this one has China and Dolphins - two of the most popular things in the world.
BURMA VJ
THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN IN AMERICA
WHICH WAY HOME

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT
"China’s Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province" - China. Nuff said.
"Music by Prudence"
"Rabbit a la Berlin"
"The Last Campaign of Governor Booth Gardner"
"The Last Truck: The Closing of a GM Plant"

BEST EDITING
AVATAR
THE HURT LOCKER
DISTRICT 9 - Again, District 9 was inventive, effective and utterly brilliant.
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS
PRECIOUS

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
A PROPHET
- This.
THE WHITE RIBBON
AJAMI
EL SECRETO DE SUS OJOS
THE MILK OF SORROW

BEST MAKEUP
STAR TREK
- Spock's ears, come on!
THE YOUNG VICTORIA
IL DIVO

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
AVATAR
- Because it's ethnic, and white guilt will lead to triumph.
FANTASTIC MR. FOX
THE HURT LOCKER
SHERLOCK HOLMES
UP

BEST ORIGINAL SONG
"Almost There" - THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG
"Down in New Orleans" - THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG
"Loin de Panama" - PARIS 36
"Take It All" - NINE
"The Weary Kind" - CRAZY HEART - Probably this.

BEST ANIMATED SHORT
"French Roast
"Granny O'Grimm's Sleeping Beauty"
"The Lady and the Reaper"
"Logorama"
"A Matter of Loaf or Death - Wallace and Gromit have a proven track record of Oscar success, and this film was just as good as Close Shave.

BEST LIVE-ACTION SHORT
"The Door"
"Instead of Abracadabra"
"Kavi"
"Miracle Fish"
"The New Tenants"

BEST SOUND EDITING
AVATAR
DISTRICT 9
STAR TREK
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS
UP

BEST SOUND MIXING
AVATAR
THE HURT LOCKER
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS
STAR TREK
TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
AVATAR
- I want one of the others to win, just to see the look on James Cameron's face. "I invented a whole new Technology!"
DISTRICT 9
STAR TREK

Monday, January 11, 2010

Preview of 2010 in Cinema

Okay, since I have yet to visit the Cinema this year, I thought it would be a good time to Preview 2010 in Film.
My mind is fresh, my opinions unfounded – here’s what I think the next 253 Days are going to be like on the Big Screen;

Daybreakers – I can’t imagine this film is going to be any sort of a Classic, but it might just have enough style to make it’s way onto my burgeoning Blu-ray collection.

The Road – I’d hate to meet Viggo Mortensen in real life, but I do love to watch him act!

The Book of Eli – While I am not a huge Denzel fan, I do love the Post-apocalypse. Shaft meets Mad Max with Gary “The Greatest Living Actor” Oldman as the villain – can’t miss it.

Legion – I don’t doubt I’ll see it, but I know it’s going to annoy me. If you’re God, why send an army of CGI to kill the Human Race. Just “Will” it! It doesn’t make for a very good film, I’ll admit, but it saves me a Logic Headache.

Edge of Darkness – I’ll probably wait for this one of DVD, but still – Mel Gibson is a great movie star.

Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief – I won’t see this film, though I fear many of my pupils will. Suffice to say, Chris Columbus has not made a decent film since Home Alone.

The Wolfman – Should be the Mummy for the Teens (and hopefully, not the Mummy Returns for the teens)

Shutter Island – I like Leo more the older he gets. The trailers for this look really intriguing, and Martin Scorsese makes okay films, doesn’t he?

Cop Out – Title changed from a Couple of Dicks by a Couple of Dicks. I love Kevin Smith, but his films are... changeable. Haven’t seen Zack and Miri, but I adored Clerks II with a religious fervour, so I’m staying hopeful for this one.

Alice in Wonderland – OI! BURTON! STOP CASTING YOUR WIFE AND YOUR MATE!!!

Green Zone – Can’t miss the next film from the guys who brought us the best sequels in Action Movie history.

Hot Tub Time Machine – Need I say more?

Season of the Witch – Because I find Nicolas Cage’s performances like the shapes in a Lava Lamp. I can’t quite make out what they’re meant to be, but I know they mean something.

Clash of the Titans – I love the original, despite its flaws, so can’t not see this. Script sounds bobbins, but the effects look good.

How to Train Your Dragon – Before the trailer, I couldn’t have cared less about this. After the trailer, it’s one of my must see Animated films of the year.

Kick-Ass – I can’t write long paragraphs, but I can kick your ass!

Machete – The Trailer was better than some films, so this film should be good. Plus, Danny Trejo is one of the only movie stars I believe could actually kill a guy without breaking a sweat.

Iron Man 2 – Who won’t see this next year?

Robin Hood – I love Ridley Scott in all his forms, and while I can’t see this becoming the Generation Defining Robin Hood film (that still belongs to the Two Kevs), I’m sure it will be much more than just “Gladiator II”. Plus, Robin Hood with an authentic Nottingham accent? That’s got to be a first!

Shrek Forever After – I didn’t hate Shrek The Third. The least I can do is watch this one.

The A-Team – I pity the fool who doesn’t want to watch this film. It’s gonna be shit, but it’s gonna be so much fun!

The Karate Kid – another film that seemed like a terrible idea, but the trailer implants a glimmer of hope into me. Will Smith’s kid could kick my ass!

Toy Story 3 – Will it be a Return of the King, or a Godfather Part 3? Only time will tell.

Inception – Because I’d watch Chris Nolan sit on the loo and take a shit for two hours if they released it. The man hasn’t made a bad film yet.

The Expendables – I don’t want to see this, but my Testicles insist.

Let Me In – Shouldn’t have been renamed, but might just be worth seeing.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – I don’t agree with splitting the damned thing in two, but this is kind of a watered down Revenge of the Sith (not in terms of Quality ,but certainly in terms of build-up)

Burlesque – Christina Aguilera as a Burlesque dancer. I’m sure the mise-en-scene will be excellent.

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader – My favourite Narnia book, without Disney but with Michael Apted (y’know, a proper Director) the rest of the series stands or falls based on this Film.

Tron Legacy – Because I liked Tron and I like new things.

Conan – Should be made by the entire team behind The Expendables.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World – I loved the Comics, and Edgar Wright knows both funny, and good film making.


Just to be clear, I do watch low key films too, and I love them, I just don't like spending twenty quid (when you take petrol and snacks into account) to see them. I prefer to wait for DVD or Telly.

The Adventures of Findo Gask II - Trailer